Submitted by JPFreek Field Reporter Kevin Stevens
Lying awake at 3:45 A.M. trying to solve the many mysteries of the universe — I had a revelation. Why have I spent thousands of dollars on my Jeep and why have I been left wondering how I can get thousands more for other mods?
My neighbors have cars, vans, trucks and SUV’s and they are not wondering such things and spending this kind of money on them. Well, I believe I have finally figured out what the “Jeep thing” is.
When I looked at my stock Jeep back in the day, I thought “This is good, but could be better.” The tires: they should be bigger (32s? 33s? 37s?). I thought that I should probably lift it to give it more height and clearance to fit those bigger tires, so I added a 3” lift. (Now I run 37s)
Then I thought “I should look underneath the Jeep to see what is going on down there.” Well, there sat that stock axle, a Dana 30. “Shouldn’t that axle be bigger? How about at 44 or a 60…maybe an 80!” Next was “The stock skidplates, those really have to be bigger.” Diff cover… and so on.
I crawled out from under the Jeep and drove it around. I thought “This engine (2008) is anemic. I need more horsepower, more torque…it needs to be bigger.”
Then I noticed my sad stock headlights. “Yikes! Definitely need more light coming from them, maybe more lights all over?” And so it went…
Well, I have finally figured it out…
I believe Jeeps are manufactured (and have been for some time) with a certain chemical that produces micropsia. Maybe it is in the factory paint? The grease used? Is it in the air filter?
Micropsia is a condition affecting human visual perception in which objects are perceived to be smaller than they actually are.
It is the only way I can understand this Jeep thing and why all Jeep owners I know have this need to modify their Jeeps — to make them bigger. We need to research and study those Jeep owners who keep them stock with no mods. We need to understand what in their DNA or blood makes them not susceptible to the Jeep micropsia!
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